THE BLACK KNIGHT (1954) *1/2 It's films like this that convince the rest of the world that the British are an awkward people who can't make films. I've never seen such an extraordinary array of helmets, and I don't believe it for a minute: a bunch of grown men riding horses around the countryside with big ol' ducks and squirrels and toadstools attached to their heads. Alan Ladd is never anything more than The Hairspray Knight, failing to convince that he could even beat up a small fish. Peter Cushing is more intimidating as a Saracen with an earring who apparently sleeps with his hair in curlers. The foul pagan Stonehenge Knights get ahold of Patricia Medina and put her in a blond wig and dress her up like a tart for the great sacrifice. Descendants of the real Knights of the Round Table should sue, the Monty Python Knights would deal out some ass whuppin's on these clowns.
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