BLUE HAWAII (1961) 1/2* Elvis stars as a beach boy with a neurological disorder that prevents him from going more than 3 minutes without breaking into schlock-saturated songs that make the work of Barry Manilow appear ballsy and revolutionary by comparison. Wholly formulaic paint-by-numbers schmaltz glorifying impetuosity and nonconformity. Elvis is enamored with his surfboard as a prop, it appears in at least 17 scenes, but is strangely (especially for a tour guide) unable to find a beach in Hawaii with waves higher than two inches. At one point Elvis' dad threatens to ring his mom's (Angela Lansbury) neck. I was on my feet yelling "Do it! It's the only way to fucking save it!" I don't care what the coroner said, there's no way Elvis died of anything but embarrassment. "Can't Help Falling in Love" is a great pop song, and the only thing that keeps this from receiving an award for worst soundtrack ever.
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