EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS (2002) *1/2 Back in the halcyon days of MTV's "Remote Control," ("and what game show could be complete without contestants?") co-host Kari Wuhrer could have only dreamed of a future like this: a starring role opposite David Arquette in a budgeted art film replete with gargantuan arachnids steroided on toxic waste, teenage boys with electrified genitals, dreadlocked conspiracy theorists, dirtbikes, classically restored pickup trucks, a diner full of know-nothings, and, of course, a climax in a mall involving a cell phone. Of course she's not very good, none of them are, nothing interesting happens, and both the suspense and production values are inferior to a typical episode of Teletubbies, but somehow it's enough to make some teenagers laugh. Some of the inside jokes are mildly amusing, the spiders from mars got me but I waited in vain for a Ziggy follow-up, and two of the musical jokes made me smile. The conspiracy theories are pretty tame stuff for Arizona, with material like this they would definitely come up with something much more entertaining than just "aliens."
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