ERNEST GOES TO SCHOOL (1994) *** He plays jazz at the right moment. He makes fun of the right things: football players, administrators, football coaches, anyone in a plaid jacket, flies...and he's hot for a music teacher! Part of the fun of an Ernest movie is trying to figure out how the title translates into practice...Will Ernest go to college? Will he go to high school? Will he be a teacher? How about a flight school instructor? Or an underwater scuba diver? Maybe he'll just be a janitor? Naturally he's just a janitor and, as it turns out, underqualified, and can't find his locker once promoted to student. But sidekick Linda Kash is standing by in her role of a lifetime as a "German-American" scientist! Yes, Ernest (Jim Varney) spends much of the film as a genius possessing all of the knowledge accumulated in the history of man, and if he ever reached Jerry Lewis league, and he did, this is it. All of the little stuff around the edges, the small quips about Luddites and Republicans, the tuba stuck to his head, the offensive fireworks, the disappointed masses, the Hollywood jokes, that arrogance, that leadership, that...do you notice that he has a British accent (along with teleologically manifest spectacles, sweater and tie) when he knows everything? Yes, a few pints may grant it the extra half star.