G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF THE COBRA (2009) **1/2 You want action? This film is a two-hour explosion that never stops. They've got some writers seriously thinking it through, too, I mean, when I used to play G. I. Joe out in the sandbox I never even thought up stuff like this. It's pretty cool-there's more James Bond to it than any Bond film I can think of in the past 25 years. Not that there's a Bond-like character, the film really would have worked if there was anyone turning in a great performance that you could identify with, but it's intellectually....challenging...in that way that the better Bond films are. "What if someone really..." Not that the acting's bad either; Sienna Miller is (particularly, looks) quite credible for this sort of thing, and Byung-hun Lee and Marlon Wayons and Rachel Nichols and Randy Quaid, but just imagine the glory if a De Niro or Vincent Gallo had strode amongst them... And again, I can't over emphasize this because it wasn't what I was looking for going in--yeah, it's a film about a military doll, but you don't have to check your brain at the door. Lots of action and great explosions, by the way.
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