GIULIO CESARE CONTRO I PIRATI (Julius Caesar and the Pirates,1962) *1/2 Yes, a spaghetti pirate flick. Well, what could be wrong with that? Same thing as spaghetti westerns, not enough plot. I mean, it's enough for kids to follow and think something's happening, but it does feel like it's barely more than the individual strands of pasta sticking together from scene to scene. The writers know it too, so every fifteen minutes or so they have someone throw a couple women around. The best violence, actually-and it's not all that good, either-is the fight between women. They really go at it. The guys clearly are pulling all of their punches, just going through the motions whether they're going after each other, or any of the poor gals. There are a few serviceable actors in it, though: Gordon Mitchell is very Charlton Heston, I guess without the intellect (which is expendable in a lot of Heston films anyway), and Abbe Lane and Franca Parisi should have been in any period piece like this, if not necessarily so close to the center. Freud probably would have loved it, it suggests that all these big battles were fought with guys who had all kinds of chicks anyway, over their favorite piece of ass.
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