LOCH NESS (1996) *** There are a lot of reasons to make a movie. High art. To make a lot of money. To shock and irritate or make people think. Here it seems very clear to me that they're out to make a movie that entertains you, and makes you feel good. They do that. Oh sure, there are some moments where you're required to suspend overwhelming disbelief-and I'm not even talking about the monster. They're allowed to do that. Ted Danson is a good actor. I didn't even think about "Cheers" after the first ten minutes. He's an appealing character, blemished, frustrated, playing in that gray area where you suddenly need to make good choices. The romance with Joely Richardson, she's just so wonderful and real (I suspect that in the wake of this movie Loch Ness saw a sudden influx of young single male tourists, looking for her instead of Nessie)-you can see the appeal, they're good people and in that weird way that humans couldn't invent they match; it adds to things but you're half way through the movie and you're afraid that they've played all their cards. Disaster isn't imminent, but not unlikely either. That's where Kirsty Graham (how can this be her only role? She's brilliant!) and Ian Holm come in. Every elusive truth finds a home in a child, and a keeper of the keys. It swells, it crescendos, it doesn't worry if there are a few notes slightly off pitch, it trusts that you either won't notice or won't blow it out of proportion, it assumes you won't care. It'll leave ya trying to talk Scottish, or Monster. Ted doesn't sound very Scottish, incidentally, which is good as he's portraying an American.

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