MEGA SHARK VS GIANT OCTOPUS (2009) *1/2 The monsters aren't in it enough, the CGI is weak, and even when the monsters are in it looking stupid they don't move around much. They do some fairly clever/awful things though, so that's better. Fortunately someone had the good sense to cast Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas in the same film: their ineptitudes balance and complement one another beautifully, and if you want to see a competent actor (as a baseline), Sean Lawlor's usually somewhere in the corner of the picture. It's Debs and Lorenzo that you want to play close attention to though, some of their faces (hers) and gestures (both) and intonations (his) are…ok, not quite hysterical, but very very amusing. Same thing when Dean Kreyling starts barking orders on the sub: whereas Lorenzo is just too far (he obviously spends all of his spare time watching Stallone movies, but still can't quite match the subtlety), Kreyling is simply too goofy to imagine that a bunch of navy guys wouldn't be laughing at him, whether they were under attack from prehistoric creatures or not. The pathetic efforts at flash direction are exclusively annoying, until you realize that it gives you…anyone…hope that they too might direct a Hollywood production some day.
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