KING SOLOMON'S MINES (1985) *1/2 This movie is absolutely desperate to be Raiders of the Lost Ark , which is understandable, it wanting to be something, anything else. The problem being that the Indiana Jones movies maintain at least a tenuous sense that it really could happen, and that Harrison Ford really might be just the man to do it. This nonsense is never believable, and Richard Chamberlain ain't no Harrison Ford. How the hell did Sharon Stone ever get a movie contract? She can't act, has zero charisma or personality, and looks and is dressed like a "before" from the before & after Weight Watcher's ads (but with the "after" perm). Her efforts to overplay the part are more annoying than even pathetic. I mean, just assuming the only explanation...there are lots of beautiful women in Hollywood willing to do anything to get into pictures, so no matter how you work it someone along the line has no taste. And then there's Chamberlain telling her she's the most beautiful woman and all this crap, which creates the much more interesting subtext of whether he's blind or insane... Yeah, yeah, I know, it wants to be Romancing the Stone too, something, anything...
back to Brilliant Observations on 2120 Films page, or Index
go back home, or send me email
Reviews won't do it any more! I need sustained brilliance! I want to buy your exciting new terrorist novel!
I've already read both of your novels. Thank you, they're amazing. Now I want to check out your weekly blog on everything