MR. WOODCOCK (2007) * Clearly written by someone with no familiarity with the American teenage male. It is a metaphysical impossibility that-Billy Bob Thornton or not-a P.E. teacher could act half like that with that surname and make it to Christmas vacation. He would discover that he'd dined on Ex-Lax, try to desperately return home in a car with sugar in its gas tank, and eventually get to a house buried in toiletpaper but for a burning sack of dog shit on the front step, about to ignite it all. That's how the universe works, buddy. Susan Sarandon has not lost anything to the years, it's too bad that she and Billy Bob got conned into this. I can see reading the script and conversations starting out, "Well, maybe, but what if instead...." It would have been less of an insult if they'd turned him good and made up bullshit excuses for everything so it turned out right (like they usually do), it would have been less putrid if they'd just destroyed it in the excesses of the denouement (like The Witches of Eastwick ). The last ten minutes are better than the rest of it, but that says an awful lot about the rest of it. Don't bother waiting for them.
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