TITANIC II (2010) ** Well it can't be very easy thinking of a name this good for a film, wait let me try....how about.... Bed of Rats? Yeah, ok, that might do it. But this one: what if there was another ship named the Titanic, and the same fucking thing happened to it.!? From, you know, Global Warming. Wow, just think... Obviously they have a shot at a really terrible, horrible, terribly funny movie. But they don't get anywhere near it. Despite being unquestionably aware that comparisons with a different-somewhat, ahem, better (!)-film were inevitable, despite trading on everyone's enthusiasm for that other film...despite the fact that they must have known that they didn't have a James Cameron budget or any of the nice things that come with it (good actors, credible special effects, talent generally) they just plow right on into the aesthetic iceberg, playing it straight. It's disappointing: it's just not that awful. Yeah, I mean Shane Van Dyke must have incredible delusions, having written, starred in and directed the thing-and I wouldn't hire him to anything similar to any of it again-but it's not a terrible film. Yeah sure, all of the females are clearly refugees from an early cattle call cut from a soap nearby, and the crew is in no way an improvement on "The Love Boat"...actually the captain and his mate are the only ones who are so bad that they're pretty funny. They're the best part.
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