THE ANIMAL (2001) ** Like many lower American life forms, Rob Schneider aspires to being a policeman. Schneider's goal, which has admirable impetus, is assisted when he drives off a cliff and a mad scientist fixes him up with animal parts. The film has no reason to be as funny as it is, even though it's not all that funny. The two life forces of "animals," are, of course, sex and eating. So Schneider, now promoted, spends a lot of time thinking about, trying to stifle, and acting on, his sex and survival drives. I could have done without the more obvious bestiality references, but several scenes are so willfully stupid that people who know better will find themselves snickering. The subtext of reverse-discrimination no doubt has some truth in the business world and some isolated pockets of progressiveness, but anyone with more than a passing interest in the American legal system knows that black men typically receive considerably harsher sentences than their white counterparts for the same crimes. That being the case, the only effective social commentary relates to the brief and mute appearance of Morisa Taylor Kaplan. Schneider's reaction isn't all that funny, but neither are those of guys who howl and become more publicly discombobulated. Is the true goal of such creatures, and the counterparts of Ms. Kaplan, to catalyze the most natural and elevated instincts within themselves? Are they, in fact, the true acolytes of Rousseau? Or is it just base hormones taking over feeble brains? Adam Sandler's cameo is probably the funniest part of the film.