ASTEROID (1997) * The Dallas doctor doesn't even have a Texas twang. I mean, c'mon! I know that these kind of movies don't have to be accurate or anything, but when there are grounds for humor, or local color, or learned preponderances, you're just not supposed to miss them. Why couldn't they at least bring in Larry Hagman if they weren't going to get it right anyway. And what's up with these little asteroids? Flying around in space, a million miles from earth, and then the next second one hits the dam. Is there a velocity issue or not? The film abounds with insults to the sensibilities of even those who tried to sleep through science class. The problem is that they're not trying to be funny. It's difficult not to feel sorry for Annabella Sciorra, understatedly affecting to rise above the level of all that surrounds her and turn her astronomer into a serious character for the ages. It helps that she rarely succeeds and that no one but a desperado would have tried it in the first place. Michael Flynn has a great face for a horror movie. So: no plot, no thought, no acting, not even any teenagers drinking beer amongst the ruins. The entire second half of the film is like an immense hide & seek tournament. Not the sort of thing that anyone would view for entertainment, really. They should have just made a movie of Flynn playing the Asteroids video game, and trash talking, instead.