IVANHOE (1952) **1/2 This was my very favorite of the Classic Comics as a kid. I remember examining one of the frames in some detail, a rendering of Rebecca, and surmising that "Jewess" must mean "very, very beautiful lady." Elizabeth Taylor more than does the comic justice, but she probably would also have been more effective in stills. In fact, damn near no one in this lavish production is acting worth a damn. Finlay Currie is an exception, swashbuckling about with the enthusiasm and presence of a young lion, all in defiance of his grey beard. Emlyn Wiliams is funny, but that's different from acting. I just don't buy Robert Taylor as a hero, or someone dangerous, or someone smart, or even as a particularly capable dogcatcher. He ends up having to rely on knocking people out by touching their shoulders. Unless you're willing to buy into Vulcan death grip combat technique, Robert T. would have worked best in stills, too, though he would have been none too convincing in them either. Sir Walter Scott's plot is gloriously liberal (particularly this sanitized version), sensitive, and ahead of its time in its depiction and denunciation of bigotry, but will even he have the balls to make the hero get the consumptively desireable Jewess in the end? Or will Robert Taylor be stuck with Joan Fontaine? Which, now that I think on it, would be really good for Liz (she could go look for Richard Burton on some other set), but still results in a hopeless-if not quite so absurd-mismatch. The Knights Templar show up after Ivanhoe has already saved the day, which necessitates conspiracy theories, obviously. Let's see....Finlay forbids his son military service in the Middle East, whilst the legitimate political leadership is usurped by a shallow farce of a man, and the true king imprisoned in Austria. Could they possibly have been telling us, well in advance of all facts, that no one should allow their children to fight in Iraq, that George W. Bush should be imprisoned, and that JFK is being held hostage in the Trapp Family Singers' mansion in Salzburg?!
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