LABORATORY (1980) * Aliens dressed up as disco balls, and speaking incomplete sentences through voice boxes, torment a cross-section of Los Angelenos by conducting absurdly simple scientific tests on them in an abandoned air force barracks. It's a film where you can leave at any time, for any period of time, and understand exactly what's going on when you get back. Not that nothing is happening, just that it's all so predictable. Of the cardboard cut-out characters, only the affluent, middle-aged alcoholic offers any hope of entertainment, and she turns out to be the dullest of the lot. It's not an offensive film, but your time would be better spent watching a sleeping dog.

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