SPIDER BABY, OR THE MADDEST STORY EVER TOLD (1968) *1/2 The jaunty opening credits suggest a Disneyesque children's feature, replete with werewolves and vampires and such. It is doubtful that the creator of the opening credits had any idea what was to follow. Jill Banner and Beverly Washburn present as two females of uncertain (but youthful) age, somewhere between the Manson girls and something out of Rocky Horror. They appropriately overplay their parts with an enthusiasm suggesting genuine talent. Lon Chaney, Jr. ambles throughout, a portrait of an immigrant dockworker from Latvia, inexplicably accellerated into the Gentlemen's Finishing Program. Jack Hill exhibits some severe directorial skills, most notably relating to the flow and lighting in the scene of Carol Ohmart running around the yard in a hooker suit. But for all of the strong and unique points, the film doesn't work. As anything. Certainly not as a children's film, not as a horror movie (nothing resembling a vampire even shows up, although there is a juvenile voyeur hanging upside down outside a window), not even as something simply defying categorization. Still, as the works of John Waters enjoy a following, there are probably people out there who would enjoy this. Bevare awf zem! Bevare, bevare!
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