TEENAGE SPACE VAMPIRES (1998) * It's a great premise, obviously, but even with uniformly poor acting, an unexceptional plot, and a bevy of attractively amateurish shots this one never quite gets going. There are some funny shots of people acting like slobbering barnyard animals and such, but there's never anything quite stupid enough to be compelling. Lots of characters with good accents, and I like that the high school teacher is the first one to be an obvious alien, but it never reaches anything near the depths of aesthetic despair suggested by the title.

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