THE VIKINGS (1958) ** The Vikings, it turns out, were kind of assholes. It's a Greek tragedy of a Viking morality tale, replete with lusty men and virtuous women, crazed relatives, and a sensitive Oedipal scene. The intrigue, such as it is, revolves around Kirk Douglas and Tony Curtis weighing their desires for ransom against wanting to hump on Janet Leigh's leg (or "marry her and make her queen" as it was called at the time). Curtis was married to her in real life so it's likely that he knew what his character was missing, Douglas must have been inspired by her dye job (what color was her hair really?) as she doesn't look all that much more lovely than the local wenches they throw axes at. Of course she's a princess or something, and we all know how taken with titles and the class system Vikings were. Objectively Douglas expresses his admiration for her biting ability. Curtis and Leigh generate surprisingly few sparks but the scriptwriters ensure that we need them to be together with unease, if not desperation, by their portrayal of Douglas. He has the rage for the role of untamed Viking prince in several scenes but others are flat, didn't they do retakes in those days? Ernest Borgnine is absolutely unrecognizeable as the typecast he would become: strutting about nobly, elegantly, even handsomely as long-haired Viking King Ragnar.
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