I MARRIED A MONSTER (1998) *1/2 In which aliens learn that earth girls can be bitchy. Borrowed and abused space tale cross-pollinated with least common denominator clichés from many genres is ultimately more entertaining than funny, largely because it is not at all scary and the special affects are more leaned up against it than jump out. Some of which is what they were shooting for, running a soap opera guy in the lead and all. The saddest part is that the aliens don't drink, so when they start inhabiting earth guys bodies everything gets dull. Predictability of the film (except for what someone's going to show up wearing next-there are early '60s non-chic, L'il Abner girl suits, polka dots, you get the idea) is ultimately its strong(est) suit. Failed to materialize some potentially great scenes involving fire trucks, and happy good Americans toasting in the bar after being rescued from aliens.