GHOSTS ON THE LOOSE (1943) * The only extant-or even possible-film where Ava Gardner is actually more interesting than Bela Lugosi. Of course Bela was significantly brighter, and so probably even more bored by the (non)antics of the East Side Kids. Mobsters, ghosts, propaganda, a crazy old lady, an Irish cop named Mulligan, Bela the Nazi propagandist, Ava the blushing bride…how could it have all gone so wrong? Part of the answer is that it didn't have to go, it started out just the same way. Not so much less than the sum of its elements, as the elements themselves are so bland that any adjective at all constitutes false advertising. You wait for it to go somewhere, but you know that the climax isn't going to be more worthy than the build-up. It isn't. They all fall into a pile. Now you don't have to watch. You're welcome.

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