THE HAUNTED MANSION (2003) **1/2 The plot is thin and derivative, and for at least half the movie it's not all that funny, and not at all scary. It's entertaining enough, though, easily worth what you'll put down for a nice weekend film with the family. Then Rob Minkoff suddenly-and I do mean suddenly-starts throwin' around his technology better, and Eddie Murphy's workin' the best lines, and all of the actors are set up in the right place (Marsha Thomason as the love totem, Nathaniel Parker the aristocrat, Terence Stamp the butler, Marc John Jefferies and Aree Davis the adorable children, Dina Spybey the scattered maid, and Jennifer Tilly the apparently amphibious head floating in a bunch of electric green ions). It gets good. It's SO relentlessly and unashamedly Walt Disney (but how could they have cut Don Knotts out?), so predictable, and so fun. It even gets a little scary, and Eddie deals with the bad dude alright. Of course it's not as predictable to kids who haven't already seen this plot a million times, and to whom Disney is a synonym for good magic. It's a nice introduction to all of those things. Eddie as a borderline psychotic real estate agent, man, how'd it take 'em so long to get around to that?
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