PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST (2006) ** Johnny Depp continues swaggering around in a manner not entirely different from Keith Richards, but it's never enough to suggest that the film might turn into anything but another entry in Hollywood's eternal parade of inferior sequels. Depp's the key, of course, and he does reasonably well with what he's given, but even the Keith imitation is starting to fall apart. Johnny exaggerates the effeminate aspects that suggest, at least, that Keith attended art school, but until the unquestionably heroic final scene there's not much to suggest that Depp could have found his way out of any park in New York, much less around the Caribbean with metaphysical horrors hounding his tail. It's entertaining, but it stretches patience already worn thin by the surrounding lightweight mythology. Orlando Bloom is in it again (slightly improved from the opening film, actually, but still not much of a threat), and Keira Knightley, who has so much difficulty ingratiating any aspect of herself into the festivities that I kept my eyes on the corners of the screen for a lifeboat. It wasn't entirely her fault, the screenwriters gave her more ridiculous crap than anyone deserves, but it's difficult to watch her and not think that some other actress might look slightly less stupid in the same situation. I guess it's entertaining enough, though, and not just because of Depp. The wardrobe and special effects budget obviously dwarfed the GNP of all those countries we keep meaning to save, and maybe within the ethical limitations of aesthetics it was money well spent. The action scenes are tremendous, somewhere between Indiana Jones and a better and more developed entry into the Bob Hope canon. It doesn't leave you with that wild sense of manic adventure as the first one, but those of us looking for that in a movie theater should probably find something better to do anyway.
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