SHERLOCK HOLMES RETURNS (1993) ** Slightly maladroit but inoffensive effort to reel in the "Murder, She Wrote" crowd. My favorite part is Debrah Forentino's narration, she sounds like one of the better students in a beginner reading class. You can almost hear the dull-witted teacher in the background "Come on now Ms Forentino, adventure is an action word. Sherlock Holmes lands in modern day San Francisco after a cryogenic event, and isn't so antagonized by the criminalization of cocaine that he won't help the cops. And, being Sherlock, he's smart enough not to get busted. But how smart is he, really? The contextualized remarks are most impressive in isolated relief, one psychological step back and you see them as they really are: compensation for the inability to get a girlfriend. Or boyfriend, girlfriend or boyfriend, whatever, no relationships. And so it comes to pass, once again, that he obtains an elderly mother figure, to come between him and the nearest female of reproductive age. Hmmm, yes, there are mysteries so dreary as to be unworthy.
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